3 GOOD MANNERS
3 good manners of male penis. 1)Courteous-it stands before performing. 2)Emotional-it cries during the performance. 3)Polite-it bows down after the performance.




MISTAKES
Learn from your parents' mistakes - Use birth control!





PICTURE
Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.





MAN
Today, in style are small cars, watches, skirts and mobile-phones... It will come the time when SMALL PENIS will be in style, and then you will be the man!!!





COCUNUT
What’s hairy on the outside and moist inside, begins with a 'C' ends with a 'T' and has U' and 'N' in the middle? Answer: 'COCUNUT'





SHOWTIME
Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over. But pulling down a panty means IT'S SHOWTIME!





LEFT LEG, RIGHT LEG
What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg? Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.





SEX MACHINE
When im dead and in my grave, no more pussy i will crave. And upon my headstone will be seen, here lies the bones of a f**king machine.





SEX ON TEXT
Press down... down more... Ok more... YES ahh ohh yes... almost there... yeah oh shit harder... SO GOOD...! mmmmm... That's how I sex on text!





CARS
Man1: my wife is obsess w/ cars. While asleep, she holds my bird & say 'Ferari,Porsche...' Man2: mine is worst, she puts my bird inside her & say 'Full Tank pls.'





DEPRESSED
A girl asked, why cow seems depressed when being milked? Teacher: if every morning they rub yours 4 30 minutes and don't f**k u, u will feel the same?





BAR STOOL
How do you keep 4 blondes entertained in a bar? Turn the bar stool upside down.





VIAGRA
CUSTOMER NOTIFICATION. As of May 2001 Viagra will only be available through chemists by its chemical name.So please ask for MYCOXAFLOPPIN. Thank you





WE CAN MULTIPLY
Do you like maths, if so add a bed, subtract ur clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!





SNOW WHITE
*NEWSFLASH* Snow white had been chucked out of Disney Land. She was reported 2 hav pulled up her skirt, sat on Pinnochio's face and shouted, 'LIE BASTARD LIE'






GLOW IN THE DARK
I really, deeply wish tat u r here wif me in my room, on my bed & lights is off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my.. new watch tat glow in the dark






PENIS & BALLS
Penis & Balls arguing. Balls: Hey, U r very unfair! Everytime u go in u never bring us along, only u enjoy! Penis: Eh, U think its fun? I always keep vomiting!





STUPID PYJAMAS
Last night I desperately missed you I wanted to feel u on my naked body. I had to go to bed without you....where are u stupid pyjamas.....!






BRUSH MY TEETH
I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh.. and creates a creamy foamy liquid as it thrusts in and out, up and down... Can’t wait to brush my teeth





RING
I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend's hand, 'Cause everytime she'd wipe her rear I'd see the promised land....





DUMB
What is the dumbest part on a man's body? The penis. It has a head with no brain, it hangs out with two nuts and it lives around the corner from an asshole!






SAGGY BOOB
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support people are going to think we're nuts!





BLOW JOB

What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts. This is no ordinary blow job!





COVER ME

What did the Dick say to the Condom? 'Cover me!!! I'm going in...'