Aankhon Me Sharafat,
Chaal Me Nazakat,
Dil Me Sachai,
Cheray Par Safai,

Isi Liye Tou ...
.
.
.
Har Larki Aap Ko Pyar Se Kehti Hai
“BHAI”

Ek LARKI Ki DUA

Kasam Se Her Larkay Ko Bhola Dongi,
Sabhi Ki Tasveren Jala Don Gi,

Ek Tum Hi Raho Gay Is Dil Mein,
Balance Dalwa Do Tumhy Dua Doun Gi.

Aaj tum DIL maango,de denge,JIGAR maango de denge,JAAN tak maango to bhi de denge,kyunki aaj in saari films ki cds ghar par hain!

Wife: kaash main newspaper hoti dinbhar tumhare hathon me rehti Hus: meri bhi yahi dua hai rab se issi bahane her din nayi nayi to milti.

Dil ki baat dil mein mat rakhna : jo pasand ho usse ILU kehna : agar wo ghusse mein aa jaaey to darna mat raakhi nikalna aur kehna pyari behna milti rehna.

Chota Sardar : Mummy kal raat jadu hoya. Main bathroom da darwaja kholey te light ape jal gayi Mummy: Khotya tu fir fridge vich susu kar dita ?

Ladkiyon ke college me strike thi, Ladke bhi unke saath the Ladkiyon ne naara lagaya: HUMARI MAANGE Pichhe se awaaz aayi SINDUR SE BHARO.

School Mein Ishq Ka Naya Mahool Tyar Ho Gaya, Class Ki Teacher Ko Papu Se Pyar Ho Gaya, Iss Baat Se Sari Class Ka Dil Udas Ho Gaya, Sari Class Fail, Aur..... Papu Pass Ho Gaya.

Ek din Wife aur Husband mandir se
niklay to ek faqeer ne kaha:
Shehzadi 5 rupay dede, andha hon

Husband:Dedo,Tumhe Shehzadi
kaha hai to zaroor andha hi hoga.

Bachiyon k chakker me larke jate lutt,
Or khatey hain un k bhaiyon se wo kutt…
iss waja se larke larkiyon ko chor detay hain,
Moqa mil tey hi un k bhaiyon ko phor dete hain..
Na kare makeup to un se banda dar jata hay,
Karti hain itna makeup k weight barh jata hay.

100 gram Mitti,.....100 gram Kanakad ke pathar....25species ke keede makode....5 gram ke makdee ke jaale....dont be suprised this is CT scan of ur brain...

SARDAR KE PEECHE KUTTA PADA, WOH PARESHAAN HOKE SOCHNE LAGA, SALA!! CARD THO AIRTEL KA DALWAYA THA, THO PHIR NETWORK HUTCH KA KYUN AA RAHA HAI!!

GEETASAR: MOBILE nirjeev hain !! SIM CARD iski ATMA hai. !! SMS wo GYAN hain , jo BATNE se BADTA hain. !! Iseeliye He PRANI BALANCE KA MOH Tyag Kar SMS KIYA KARO. !!

Husband:
ALLAH ne tumhein 2 aakhen di hain
chaawal se patthar nahi nikal sakti?
WIFE: ALLAH ne tumhe 32 daant diye hai
2-4 patthar nhi chaba sakte?

Sorry aaplogo ko disturb kiya lekin urgent kaam tha , kya kui apni 1 photo abhi bejh sakte hai. hum log tash khel raha hai aur joker ka patta kho gaya hai..

Sardarjis son :- dad there is some one at the door to collect donetion for a swimming pool ........? sardar :- give him a glass of water!!

Hum itne sweet nahi, ki diabeties hojaye! na itne salty ki, B.P. badha jaye!! na itane testy ki maza aajaye, Par itne Kadwe bhi nahi ki Yad na aye!!!!

Tere gam me tadap kar mar jayenge,Mar gaye to tera naam lagayenge... Rishwat de ke tujhe bhi bulaenge,Tum upar aaoge to saath baith ke Kurkure khaenge...

Roses r red but violets r blue...monkey like u should be kept in the zoo...dont get angry ull find me there too...not with u but laughing at u...

Sardar: I hav’nt slept all nite in the train.
Friend: Y?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Y did’nt u ecchanged?
Sardar: oye, there was nobody
2 exchange in the lower birth..

Imagine world without girls
roads sunsan markets viran
na janu na jan
na koi girl friend k liye preshan
bas namaz & quran
&
sarey larke direct jannat ul maqam.

Wife:
suno ji doctor Ne mujhe aik maheenay k araam k liye
beautiful foreign country janay ko kaha hai.

Hum kahan jayen gay?
Husband: doosray doctor k paas.

Ek admi chupke se jannat main chala gaya

farishto ne pakar kar buhat mara
admi utha aur bola

“Tum logoin ki in hi harkaton ki waja say
koi banda janta main nahin aata”

Ladki boli: Chandni chaand se hoti hai, sitaron se nahi, Mohabbat ek se hoti hai, hazaaron se nahi. Ladka bola : Chandni agar chaand se hogi to sitaron ka kya hoga, Mohabbat agar ek se hogi to hazaron ka kya hoga.

MURGI USKE TEEN BACHCHO KE SAATH ROAD CROSS KAR RAHI THI ...ROAD CROSS KARNE KE BAAD BACHCHE NE BOLA MUMMY HUM PANCHO NE ROAD CROSS KAR LIYA...AB BOLO 5 KAISE HUE...??? BOLO BOLO.... ITNA BHI NAHI SAMAJHTE ..... BOLO BOLO... BACHCHA HAI YAAR KUCH BHI BOL SAKTA..HAI....

One day a man caught a pickpocket redhaned and ask the pickpockter, are you not a shame to pick my pocket , The pickpockter said you should be shamed is you dont have even a rupee in your pocket.

Imraan Hashmi Ne Apni Girlfriend Ko Pehle Apna AASHIQ BANAYA Phir Usne CHOCOLATE Main ZEHER Milakar Uska MURDER Karvaya.Girlfriend Ne UskeAKSARKhwaab Me Aakar Kaha TUM SA NAHI DEKHA To Imraan Hashmi Ne Kaha Is KALYUG Me JAWANI DIWANI Hai.

Raman or chaman railway platform per train pakarne ke liye kara tha ki announs huwa rajdhani exp platfrom no one per aa rahi hai raman jatpat se railway patri par aa gaya chaman ne pucha bhai upar aa ja nahi to mare jaoge to raman bola tune suna nahi train platform per aa rahi hai.

A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses wife instead: Im afraid he died last week. she explains. The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss. I told you the wife replies, he died last week. The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts: IVE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING? Coz . . . he replied laughing, I just love hearing it.

Pehla Pagal : Ager tum batao kay is Box mein kia hai tu ye anday tumhara aur ager tum ye bata du kay ye kitnay anday hain tu 5 kay 5 tumharay aur ager tum ye bata dogay ye kis kay anday hain tu wo morgi bhi tumhari. Dosra Pagal : Yaar koi hint tu du.

Wife: Honey what ru looking4? Husband: Nothing;
Wife: Nothing? u've been reading our marriage certificate 4an hour? Husband: I was just looking 4d expiry date!

AAj ke friends I TELL U,
Kitne busy WHAT DO U DO,
Koi mujhe bole I MISS U,
Koi mujhe bole NO TIME 4 U,
Kash koi mujh se kahy

oh my dost/ i am just free 4 u.

If engineers start making films, the names will be: current ho na ho, jaanam supplykaro, aa ab B.Tech karen, Kabhi A.C. Kabhi D.C, Hamari IC apke pas hai, fuse lagaya to darna kya, engineer no.1, engineering koi khel nahi, input wale output le jayenge, Maine engineering kyu kiya..!!

ek aishwaarya thi deewani si shahrukh pe wo marti thi, najre jhukake,sharma ke hritik ki galiyo se gujarti thi, chori chori salman ko chittiya likha karti thi kuch kahena tha shayad ajay se par na jane kis se darti thi jab bhi milti thi vivek se hamesha pucha karti thi imran kaisa hai.

Girlfriend Ko I LUV U Bolna Hai? Balance Khatam ?
Ab Kya Karoge ? Kabutar K Gale Mein Bandh K CHITTHI Bhejoge ?
Nahi Na..........
Main Batata Hoon Kya Karna Hai....
Girlfriend Ka Number Mujhe De Doge Main I LUV U Boldeta Hoon!

A SARDAR WENT 2 RADIO SHOP AND START SHOUTING KAMINO MAINE PHILIPS KA RADIO MAANGA THA AUR ISKO ON KIYA TO YEH BOLTA HAI YEH ALL INDIA RADIO HAI...

A Sardar learning english introduces his family at a party.
Hi I am a Sardar. This is my sardarni .
He is my Kid and she is my Kidney.

Bhagwan ke naam pe 1 patni dede... Apni nahi toh dusre ki dede... Bhagwan tujhe 1 kay badle3 dega Anurag ki tarah Prerna kay saath Aparna aur komolika free dega.

Husband apni wife ka janaza le ker ja raha tha.
Jana k aag 1 kutta or pche aadmiyon ki lambi line thi,
Ek aadmi aakar pochta he,”Bhai yeh sab howa kaise?”
Husband: Is kutte ne kaat liya tha meri biwi ko…
Aadmi: Yeh kutta ek din k liye mujhey dedo
Husband: peeche line mein lag jao…

Boy: BUS aur LARKI
aik jaisi hoti hain,
1 jaati hai to doosri aa jati hai.

Girl: RAKSHAY aur LARKAY
ek jaisay hotay hain,
1 ko bulao 4 chale aate hain….

Sardarji & his wife going to city in auto.
Driver adjusted miror.
Sardarji shouted you are seeing my wife.

Go & sit back. I will drive auto…:D

2 men went 2 a callgirl.
1st went in and came out n said
“Na my wife is better.”
2nd went in and came out n said
“U R right ur wife is much better.”

Ek sardar se kissi ne poocha k

sardar ji agar app ko garmi lagy to app kya karo gay?
Sardar: jenab hum a.c k pass ja k beth jain gay.

Admai: agar phir bhi appko garmi lagy to kya karo gay?
Sardar: jenab tab hum a.c on kar lain gay.

Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE:-
C-Come,
O-On,
L-Lets,
L-Love,
E-Each,
G-Girl,
E-Equally……

Thats why boys go to college.

1 banda bhahta howa aata hay
aur Santa se kehta hai
bhai jaldi jao tumharey ghar main
talaab ka pani ghus gaya hay.

Santa: Oye kion jhoot bolta hay,
ghar ki chabi to meray paas hay:D:D

In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please!
Saint: I don’t have.
TT: Where do you want to go?
Saint: Lord Ram’s birth place, Ayodhya!
TT: Come, lets go!
Saint: Where?
TT: Lord Krishna’a birth place, Jail.

Doctor ne admi se pucha …
Kia aap ka aur aapki biwi ka khoon aik hi hai?

Admi ne kaha..
Kiu nahi? Zarur hoga! Pachaas(50)
saal se mera hi khoon pi rahi hai na.

Patient : What are the chances
of my recovering doctor?

Doctor : One hundred percent.
Medical records show that
nine out of ten people die of the disease you have.

Yours is the tenth case I’ve treated.The others all died.

Banta was driving his car in a zigzag fashion on d road. Traffic inspector stopped him.
Banta: I'm learning car driving.
Inspector: Without d instructor?
Banta: Correspondence Course!

Jeeto: Ek baat batani hai, par plz muje marna nahi.
Santa: Bolo.
Jeeto: Mein Pregnant hu!
Santa: It's a gud News.
Jeeto: Shadi k pahle pitaji ko bataya to bahut maar padi thi.

Santa: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do, mere dost aa rahe hain.
Jeeto: Kyon! Aapke dost chura lengey?
Santa: Nahin, pehchan lengey.

Santa: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!
Banta: Mujhe uska naam pata hai.
Santa: Kya naam hai uska?
Banta: Woh bank mein kaam karti hai, uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha "CHAALU KHAATA"

Santa Radio lekar POTTY karne gaya.
Banta: Aaj toh mazey se ki hogi ?
Santa: Khaak mazey se ki, radio par Jan-Gan-Man aa gaya, khade-khade karni padi.

Ek baar Santa Gangubai ke ghar jaata hai aur darwaza knock karta hai.
Gangubai: Kaun ?
Santa: Main !
Gangubai: Main kaun?
Santa: Tu Gangubai .

Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, apple saath laya hoon.

Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya.

Santa: Yaar mein apni girlfriend nu gift dena hai, ki devan?
Banta: Gold ring de de.
Santa: Koi vadi cheez das yaar.
Banta: Tan fer MRF da tyre de de.

Santa-Bus stand jane k kitne paise?
Rikshawala: 10 Rs
Santa: 2Rs mein chalega to theek hai
Rikshawala: 2Rs mein kaun le k jayega?
Santa: Peeche baith main lekar jata hoon.

Santa (on phone): Maa, khushkhabri hai!
Maa: Bolo beta.
Santa: Hum, 2 se 3 ho gaye.
Maa: Badhai ho, ladka hua ya ladki.
Santa: Na ladka, na ladki. Maine doosri shaadi karli.

Santa: Is operation se mujhe kuchh ho gaya to isi doctor se shadi kar Lena.
Jeeto: Aise kyo kah rahe ho?
Santa: Doctor se badla Lene ka yehi 1 rasta hai!