Wht do U cll a triple barrel shotgun?
A trifle.



Wht do U cll a h&cuffed man?
Trus2rthy.



Wht do Mexicns hv under Tir carpets?
Underlay! Underlay!



Wht's T maximum penalty of bigamy?
2 moTrs-in-law.



Wht do U get if U cross a skunk with a boomerang?
A bad smell U cnt get rid of.



Wht's T fastest cake in T world?
Sc1.



Hw do U kp a txtr in suspense?
I'll tel U l8r.



Y R dumb blonde jokes all 1-liners?
So men cn underst& Tm.



Wot do U do if a blonde throws a grenade @ U?
Take T pin out & throw it back.



Hv U hrd about T magic trac2r?
It went down a country road & turned in2 a field.



I want 2 die peacefully in my sleep like my gr&f@her…
not screaming in terror like his passengers!



Spell hungry horse in 4 letters.
M T G G.



I used 2 like trac2rs...
...but now I'm an extrac2r fan.



My wife dresses 2 kill
T only problem is th@ she cooks in T same manner.



Wht did 1 magnet say 2 T oTr magnet?
I find U V @tractive.



Hw do U kp an idiot amused?
W@ch ths message until it goes away!



Tre wr 2 cows in a field - Daisy & MaBl.
D: 'I've bn artificially insemin@ed.'
M: 'I dnt Blieve U!'
D: 'Straight up, no bull!'



Girls think boys are fit. Boys think girls are sexy. But don't worry...
I'm sure science Will come up With something To help you.



How to impress a woman: compliment her, kiss her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her
How to impress a man: Show up naked, bring beer



There are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her garage, mink in her closet, tiger in her bed!
And of course adonkey to pay her bills!!



The average woman would rather have beauty than brains,
because the average man can see better than he can think



Brain Search: Brain detector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip of your gsm....
still searching.......no brains found



Why did they call it PMS?
Mad cow disease was already taken!



Mary had a little lamb
The doctor fainted!!!



When a man talks dirty 2 a women, its sexual harassment
when a women talks dirty 2 a man, its £3.95 per minute!



Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends, charming, funny
well...Enough about ME! How about you?



I Want triplets you want twins....
Lets get in bed and see who wins



Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now...
Sorry I am leaving now, I can't find a brain



Yesterday night I lay on my bed looking at the stars, then I wondered...
Hey, where on earth IS MY ROOF!



I wanted to send you something that would make you smile...
But the postman told me to get out of the mailbox



Drive carefully:
90% of people in this world are caused by accidents...



God made man and then rested,
God made women and then no one rested



Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
It's like when dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving



blonde is on 1 side of a lake and yells 2 another blonde across the lake, 'How do I get 2 the other side?'
The other blonde yells back, 'U R on the other side!'