How do you keep a blonde busy all day?
Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner




What do u call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1987 world hide and seek champion




What do 7'tall basketball players do in their off season?
Go to the movies and sit in front of you




Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went it would be hell




Why can't men get Mad Cow's Disease?
Because they are pigs




How many letters are in the Alphabet?
Nineteen. Because ET went Home on a UFO and the FBI went after him!




What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
Some traffic signs say stop




How do you keep an idiot in suspense............??
Tell you later........




Why don't blondes talk whilst having sex?
Because their mums told them not to talk to strangers!




Never let a man's mind wander,
It's too little to be out on it's own!!!!




What beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake?
Tarzipan!




Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas?
No you can have turkey like everyone else !




Who is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey - he's always stuffed !




We had grandma for Christmas dinner?
Really, we had turkey!




This turkey tastes like an old settee.
Well, you asked for something with plenty of stuffing.




What does Father Christmas write on his Christmas cards?
ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ (No-L !!)




Why did the blond woman sneak past the pharmacy?
She didn't want to wake the sleeping tablets!




The average woman would rather have beauty than brains...
Because the average man can see better than he can think




What's the difference between Bigfoot and intelligent men?
Big foot has been spotted a few times




What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar?
Ok you 2, don't start anything.




Two blondes were driving to Disney Land when they saw a sign that read, "Disney Land left"
So they turned round and went home.




Drink until she's cute
But stop before the wedding!




Guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken.
The waiter replies 'nothing special - we just flat out tell 'em they're gonna die'.




He said: "I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it."
She said: "You wear underpants, don't you?"




What's the difference between men and women?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need; a man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.