Daughter: Mom, kya yeh sach hai ki ladke jahan apna l*nd dalte hain, bachha wahin se nikalta hai?
Mom: Haan.
Daughter: Oh my god! To kya mera bachha mere muh se niklega?
A lady from 2nd floor asking a bananawala: Kaise diye?
Bananawala: Memsaab Aath mein Bara.
Lady: Saat mein Tera deta hai to oopar aaja.
Jad aapji da janam hoya te tusi nange si te cheekan maar rahe si,
te hun jad tusi nange hunde ho te koi hor cheekan marda hai.
Sab time-time di gal hai!
A General asks a young lady officer, how she felt in Services?
Lady: Very fine, whole day passes in saying Yes Sir, Yes Sir & the whole night in No Sir, No Sir!
INDIA KI REET... Ladki agar apni marzi se de de to PYAAR... Agar Dost Dilwaye to UPHAR... Ghar wale dilwaye to SANSKAR... aur agar apne aap lele to... BaLaTkAar...
School mein bachche ke papa ne teacher se kaha: Madam ji thodi aap koshish karo, thodi hum karte hain, bachcha to nikal hi jayega...!
CONGRATS.Your phone has been installed with a new puzzle game. To play,throw your phone against the wall.Then assemble the pieces....
Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.
1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said, "Because you came home early."
Do you like mathematics? If so, add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!
In a bar 1 Guy says 2 another
"I slept wid ur mom last nite"
D whole bar was waiting 4 d other Guy's response.
He laughs & says, "Lets go home dad, U r drunk"
Mental anxiety,
Mental breakdowns,
Menstrual cramps,
Menopause...
Did you ever notice how all women problems begin with MEN!
Q:Whats the difference between magnets and women
A: magnets have a positive side.
Teacher: Name some films that have almost same stories?
Pappu: Madam, Blue films.
Q: Whats the difference between a computer and a woman?
A: A computer doesn't laugh at a 3½ inch floppy.
Hair oil ki ad mein hair dikhate hain, Skin cream ki ad mein Skin, Toothpaste me Teeth, Footwears me Feet, par WHISPER ki ad mein kuch nahi dikhate????
Jaago Grahak Jaago!
Daughter: Mom, kya yeh sach hai ki ladke jahan apna l*nd dalte hain, bachha wahin se nikalta hai?
Mom: Haan.
Daughter: Oh my god! To kya mera bachha mere muh se niklega?
friends talking about AIDS
Friend: Kabhi condom ke bina nahin karta. Santa: Ungli mein bhi condom pehnta hoon.
Banta: Main to bilku risk nahin leta, padosi se karwata hoon.
It's better to stay away from girls. Only one or two can bring SMILE to your life, remaining will steel your HAPPINESS from your life santhu
Ek bus mein ladko aur ladkiyo ki team bani antakshari khelne ke liye.
Girls: Hum tumko harakar dikhayenge..
Boys: Hum haar gaye, chalo ab dikhao
Skin meets Skin
When is that
the skin meets skin,
hair meets hair
n balls disappear..
dirty mind
its when
u BLINK UR EYES
When a man talks dirty 2 a women, its sexual harassment,
when a women talks dirty 2 a man, its $$$ per minute!
A Short thing
It gets Longer
when U hold it
N pass between
women Breasts
N enters into
A hole
What is it?
1 min 2 think!
Car Seat Belt
U dirty mind.
A baby dog asks mama dog: How papa looks like. Mama dog said: "Your dad came from behind, I do not have the chance to see its face carefully!"
A man had "I LOVE YOU" tattooed on his dick. He went home and proudly showed his wife. "There you go again, trying to put words into my mouth", she said
Which Part...
of a man's body
has no bone
full of veins
loves pumping
and responsible 4
making LOVE!
ANSWER:
HEART!!! But i luv the way u think...
Met a girl the other day who has a seashell tattooed on her inner thigh. It's amazing, if you put your ear to it you can smell the sea!
One day there was this naked man and elephant, the elephant looks at the naked man for a few seconds, ask the naked man, "HOW CAN YOU BREATH THROUGH THAT LITTLE THING?"
School mein bachche ke papa ne teacher se kaha: Madam ji thodi aap koshish karo, thodi hum karte hain, bachcha to nikal hi jayega...!
A lady from 2nd floor asking a bananawala: Kaise diye?
Bananawala: Memsaab Aath mein Bara.
Lady: Saat mein Tera deta hai to oopar aaja.
Jad aapji da janam hoya te tusi nange si te cheekan maar rahe si,
te hun jad tusi nange hunde ho te koi hor cheekan marda hai.
Sab time-time di gal hai!
Luv is not measured by Hugging, Kissing & sex. It's all about Trusting Respecting & Accepting a person with open legs, closed eyes & wet lips saying Push it more.
Lady: What is a good time for Sex?
Doctor: In the afternon between 2 to 4.
Lady: Why ?
Dr: The compounder will not be here...
Mother found a condom in daughter's cupboard. She went straight to her n asked: What is this?
Girl: To aap kya chahti hain, main is umar mein Maa ban jaaun?!
Playboy has started a special edition for Married men. The same woman is featured every month.
Sex is evil
Evil is sin
Sin is forgiven
So let's begin.
Boy: How much Calcium is there in women's BREAST?
Gril: Enough to help a Man's boneless thing stand up.
Why did Shahid and Kareena break up?
Because she wanted to have Saif Sex.
Why is sex similar to shaving?
Well, because no matter how well u do it today, tomorrow u hav to do it again
First Doc: I had sex with my patient. I'm feeling guilty
Second Doc: It happens in our profession. Take it easy yaar.
First Doc: Yeah, but I'm a Veterinary doctor.
Give an example of Complete business failure due to negligence.
A pregnant prostitute.
25 Uuseless things in a Man's body: 20 Nails you can't Hammer, 2 Tits you can't Milk, 1 Cock that doesn't Crow, and 2 Balls you can't Throw !!
A old woman calls the Police department and says: I have a Sex Maniac in my apartment. Pick him up in the morning!
Boy to girl in a party: Kitne bhai behen ho!
Girl: Six
Boy: Maa Baap ko aur koi kaam nahi tha kya?
Girl: Tum kitne ho?
Boy: One
Girl: Baap me dam nahi tha kya?
Monica Lewinsky turned 31. How time flies! It seems like yesteraday when she was crawling around the White House on her hands n knees puttin everything in her mouth!
What is similarity between sex n shave?
If u don't do it for 4-5 days, it starts showing on d face.
What's the height of bad luck?
Having sex in dreams and getting AIDS in real life...!
What's the similarity between women & folding chair?
Both are useless unless until u don't open their legs.
Stock broker catches wife in bed with other man: What's going on?
Wife: Due to boom in market & ur less investment capacity, honey I've gone for PUBLIC ISSUE!
Jack: It's just too hot to wear clothes today, but what would the neighbors think if I mowed the lawn naked?
Wife: That I married u for ur money.
90 sal ke Buddhe Ne Viagra kharidi aur medical wale se puchha 'Kaise Leni hai?'
Dukandar ne upar se niche tak dekha aur kaha: Tulsi Aur Gangajal ke Sath Lo.
During war, enemy soldier sees 3 nuns. He says I want revenge & remoevd his pants. Young nun requested Plz spare older Nun.
Older nun: Shut up u Bitch, War is War.
The saddest part of a Man's body is his Balls. The Lord Almighty sentenced them to : Hang Till Death !
Teacher: What do u know about Sensex?
Pappu When we have sex with Riya Sen, Raima Sen, Rimi Sen, Konkana Sen & Sushmita Sen etc. it's called Sen Sex!
A Survey Report:
Women who sleep on their sides are Sensitive.
Who sleep on their stomach are Competent.
Who sleep on their back with Legs in the air are MOST POPULAR!
What's a contraceptive pill?
It's the second best thing that a woman can keep in her mouth to avoid pregnancy. Now dont ask wats the first thing!
Lady: Dr.! How long is it before I can resume my normal Sex Life?
Doctor (shocked): You are the first one to ask me that after a tonsil-operation!
Girl: Xcuse me brother, that's my seat.
Boy: OK! But I'm not ur brother, my father never fucked ur mom.
Girl: True, but my father did !
Sex n shopping have one thing in common: In both the cases, men start sweating in 15 minutes n women want to go on and on and on and on!
Just remember: No matter how hot & sexy a babe is, someone somewhere is tired of fuckin her!
How do you define a virgin?
On the Verge but not in!
MBBS Final Exams, Question paper: Fill in the blanks. If a lady faints, we must 1st check her pu_ s _ . Only few students like me who wrote: Pulse Passed.
Lecturer in a medical college class: Man's semen contains glucose. One of the female students had doubt and she asks: Then why it doesn’t taste sweet?
It’s so common hearing: How r u? What r u doin? How was ur day? Any plans? So I thought I'll ask sumthing different. Did u scratch ur balls today?
The saddest part of a Man's body are the Balls. The Lord Almighty sentenced them to BE HANGED TILL DEATH !
Thought for the happy life: Patni agar pati ko naukar samjhe to pati ko kya karna chahiye?
Zyada kuchh nahi... do char ghar aur pakad Lene chahiye!
Sex is like your Income... You never disclose what you get, but you always think others are getting more.
A Fact: Fuck a woman and she Loves you... Love a woman and she Fucks you.
Virginity is like a balloon-1 prick & its gone!
Sex is like a pack of chips- Once u start, u can't stop!
Life is like a dick- When it gets hard, it fucks!
What has fifty teeth & guards a monster?
Your Pant Zip !
What is virginity?
Virginity is a big issue over a small tissue.
Why do men get circumcised?
Because women will GRAB anything with 20% off!!
