Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, witty, hilarious, friendly...well enough about ME! How are you?



Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!




How do u occupy an idiot? Press down - Press up...Press Down...!




***NEWSFLASH*** Tell ALL your female friends that i can get 100 tampons for £1
... No Strings attached
...but for a limited period ONLY!
...A bloody good deal!




Pleas turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry
370HSSV 0773H




FRIEND SEARCH: Friend detector activated...calibration complete, now searching.....still searching....still searching......sorry, no friends found.




Hw do U kp a txtr in suspense? I'll tel U l8r.




Press down..More...Ok more...WOW yes ahh ohh yes....almost there....oh god harder..faster..FEELS GOOD...oh goddd!...That's how I sex on text!




Ths msg cn only b read by a SEXY person -
Nothing? Soz, I guess UR just not SEXY But hey, i Didnt force it ugly, so get lost!




I once had One2One with a Virgin, she teased me till i had an Erikson, sucked me til my face went Orange, til I busted my Siemen all over her Nokias!

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!




HELP: Cops are after a suspect who smart, witty, sexy and good lookin...so where you gonna hide ME?




This is your CellPhone Operator. We just found out you're too dumb to use your phone, so please put it on ground and start jumping on it. Thank you




Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?

A: There is a stamp on it.

A husband was asked: Do u talk to wife after sex?
His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone




Why'd they call it PMS? Cos Mad cow disease was already taken!




I went to ur house justnow - can't enter cos door says *CUTE FOLK NOT ALLOWED* - pls take sign down next time ok!




Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.




Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.