Haven't I seen your face before - on a police poster?



Look who's talking - I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.



I think the sun shines out of your arse.
Well, you're living proof that even a turd can be polished.



Let's be honest with each other . . . we've both come here for the same reasons.
Yes, you're right. Let's go and pull some girls.



Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today



Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing.



Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own



He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words.



I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works



Your face looks like you've been using it as a doorstop
Your face would not only stop a door, but also most clocks and a herd of charging buffalo



If your face had "Welcome" written on it, it would make a perfect doormat



If you put your face by a door, no one would ever come in



Your face is such a mess, when you practice diving why don't you make sure the pool has water in next time.



Your face is such a mess, why don't you get your dog something different to chew on ?
Your face is such a mess, you should stop reading before slamming the book shut



Your face doesn't look like a doorstep, it looks like the door just kept going



Your face is such a mess, you must stop using it to hammer in nails



I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.



You're about as subtle as a gynecologist wearing a gas mask and a hair net.



You're about as challenging as stealing candy from a bi-polar baby in a bell-jar.



Peanut prizes inspire monkey contestants.



May the horses break their harnesses trying to pull my dick out of your mother!



Are you typing with your forehead, again?



He who laughs last has no sense of humor.



Cigarette, A fire at one end, a fool at the other, and a bit of tobacco in between.



A rose by any other name still has thorns.



There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.



Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.



Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it.



Never deprive someone of hope - it may be all they have.



There you go again, flushing the sweet milk of human kindness through the U-bend of cynicism.



He has no equal. Everyone else is better.



You are proof that God has a sense of humor.



He dips Sparrows in Peroxide and sells them as Canaries.



His idea of a practical joke is to go into the Home for the Blind and flatten out all the Braille.



A prime candidate for natural de-selection.



People like him don't just grow on trees - they swing from them



When he dies, they'll bury him face down, so that he can see where he's going.

He campaigned to have the only Bar in his town closed. When it did, he moved away.



He'll take off his jacket and put it on the seat next to him on the train, just to stop a pregnant lady from sitting down.



He folds his newspaper on the bus so that the guy sitting across from him has to read the news upside down.



We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.



You get plenty of exercise jumping to conclusions, pushing you luck, beating around the bush, and dodging the issue.



Gravity doesn't exist. Earth sucks.



He would throw a drowning man both ends of the rope just to see the look on his face.