You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face.



You got a face only a mother could love...unfortunately she too hates it!



I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.



Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?



Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?



Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice...



I heard you were so cool that you began teaching remedial classes at Cucumber college.



Well, they do say opposites attact...so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.



I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?



Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.



You started at the bottom...and it's been downhill ever since!



I heard that you were a Ladykiller. They take one look at you and die of shock.



Is your name Maple Syrup? - Well, it damn well should be, you sap!



I know what sign you were born under...'RED LIGHT DISTRICT'



4 REASONS Y DOGS R BETTER DAN WOMEN
dogs obey wen u shout @ dem
dogs dont shop
u can giv away ur dogs children
any guy can get a good lookin dog!



Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty..so the world needs YOU after all!



This sms can only be read by someone SEXY
try again
again
maybe you are
just not sexy?
one more time
hey don't force it ugly!!!



I look at the moon, the moon is beautiful... I look at you.. I.. I'd rather look at the moon again..



As you go through life you are going to have many opportunities to keep your mouth shut. Take advantage of all of them.



Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.
This describes everything you are not...



My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife, Marrying you really messed up my life...



Roses r red, violets r blue,
Sugar is sweet, and so are u.
But da roses r wilting, da violets r dead, da sugar bowl's empty and so is ur head!



Do I look like a damn people person?



This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting



Haven't I seen your face before - on a police poster?



Look who's talking - I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets:
one to get in and another to get out.



I think the sun shines out of your arse.



Well, you're living proof that even a turd can be polished.



Let's be honest with each other . . .
we've both come here for the same reasons.



Yes, you're right. Let's go and pull some girls.



Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today



Brains aren't everything.
In fact in your case they're nothing



Don't let you mind wander
- it's far too small to be let out on its own



He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" -
but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words



I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works



Your face looks like you've been using it as a doorstop



If your face had "Welcome" written on it,
it would make a perfect doormat



If you put your face by a door,
no one would ever come in



Your face is such a mess,
when you practice diving why don't you make sure the pool has water in next time.



Your face is such a mess,
why don't you get your dog something different to chew on ?



Them: Here's 10p - go and tell your mum you're not coming home
You: Here's a pound - go and buy yourself some breath freshener



Them: I never forget a face
You: Neither do I but in your case I'll make an exception.