Haven't I seen your face before - on a police poster?
Look who's talking - I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.



I think the sun shines out of your arse.
Well, you're living proof that even a turd can be polished.



Let's be honest with each other . . . we've both come here for the same reasons.
Yes, you're right. Let's go and pull some girls.



Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today



Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing



Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own



He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words



I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works



Your face looks like you've been using it as a doorstop



Your face would not only stop a door, but also most clocks and a herd of charging buffalo



If your face had "Welcome" written on it, it would make a perfect doormat



If you put your face by a door, no one would ever come in



Your face is such a mess, when you practice diving why don't you make sure the pool has water in next time.



Your face is such a mess, why don't you get your dog something different to chew on ?



Your face is such a mess, you should stop reading before slamming the book shut.



Your face doesn't look like a doorstep, it looks like the door just kept going



Your face is such a mess, you must stop using it to hammer in nails



Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission...



Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?



I've seen more life in a down and out's vest.



You're red shirt goes well with your eyes...



Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.



Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?



Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.



Folk clap when they see you...but they clap their hands over their eyes.



You're about as much use as a Betamax videorecorder.



All day I thought of you....I was at the zoo.



I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.



You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control.



He does the work of three men: Curly, Larry and Moe



Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.



If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn't say Hi to folk, I'd say BOO!